LOL. At least your hyperbole/trolling is obvious enough that we know not to take it too seriously.And for people running around with unpatched super security holes, being spied on by alphabet soup agencies, and for letting Google know everything and anything you do.
(At least, for the 20 minutes your battery lasts on a full charge between reboots from crashy abandonware apps you got off Google Play, the ultimate place to download 30 different non-functional versions of any program you can imagine.)
My S3 has 60-70% battery left at the end of a day of light-moderate use and runs every type of app I care about, including an incredibly useful and stable one that has no iOS equivalent (to my knowledge).